Why Ramadan is No Fun

A couple of years ago, while we were living in the U.S., my husband decided to fast Ramadan. For clarification, he's not Muslim; he just wanted to see what it was like and grow in his understanding of Islam. He went the whole hog (errr...scratch that, more like he gave up hog and wasn't eating or drinking all day). It seemed like every night, he had someone else's house to visit, feasts to share, prayers to say. He got a lot closer with some of his international friends and really valued the entire experience.

I never fasted Ramadan, but still, when I was Stateside, I thought Ramadan was fairly neat. Some of my friends were certain to invite me to their house or to mosque, and on those days, I'd go ahead and fast too, and then enjoy a feast of couscous and cake later on.

But here in the Middle East, Ramadan kind of stinks.

We've been around for Ramadan for two years now. So far, I've never been invited to come visit the mosque, and I've never been to someone's house for a late meal. I spent the last Eid alone in my house, and I expect the same this year.

The only invitation I've had to take part in the holiday came this last week. A friend (who is also an expat) who works as a cashier in the supermarket asked me and some friends to break fast. (We ate in the back of the store, off the Styrofoam trays used to package fruit. I was enormously pleased to be invited.)


Fruity feast. Thank you, Khan!

"But you're not fasting," you might argue. "Ramadan is about fasting!"

It wouldn't matter if I were fasting, though. Case in point: I have an American friend who is a Christian and decided to fast Ramadan. He's following the whole thing to a T--even breaking fast with dates, which is a bit of a technical rule. But he isn't invited to take part in any other celebrations either. He is experiencing all the hard parts of Ramadan, with none of the benefits and fun.

But all this just got me to thinking: I bet most international students in America spend Christmas alone in their rooms, too. I mean, out of a whole month of celebrations, parades, shopping, choir concerts, church pageants, cookie swaps and white elephant gift exchanges, how many international students do I normally invite to partake in the festivities?

Being an international student automatically makes you curious about the culture you're in. But when holidays roll around, you start feeling even more like an outsider than usual. You'd love to see the festivities up close--attend a Christmas Eve service, drink hot chocolate, take home a terribly tacky gift from that white elephant exchange (still confused about why Americans call it that).

But unfortunately, I think holidays are also the least likely time for the nationals to open up their eyes and take care of the strangers in their midst.