So Husband is feeling sick in the mall, and I want to buy soup for him. Soup and tea, actually. We head up to the food court; Husband sits down and puts his head on the table, and I march over to the nearest shop.
"Salaam-aleikum," I say. This just means "hello." Everyone in this country knows how to say "hello." It is not ground-breaking for me to say this. Or, anyway, I certainly don't think it's ground-breaking.
"What?!?" Clarification: This wasn't a Sorry-it's-loud-in-the-kitchen-and-I-didn't-catch-that what. This was a Did-this-white-girl-seriously-just-greet-me-in-Arabic-even-though-I-probably-speak-English what.
"Salaam-aleikum?"
The guy's jaw literally falls open.
"Aleikum-salaam," he manages to mumble.
"Uh, andak hassa'?"
"WHHHAAAAT?!?" Again, he heard me. But he's staring at me like palm trees just started sprouting from my ears.
Now I'm stuttering. I can't figure out if this guy is just really surprised that I should speak Arabic, or if I'm actually saying it wrong and accidentally asking him if he has heroin, or something.
"Hassa'?" I say in a tiny voice.
"Na'am." He points to the menu, which is simple enough for me to read. There are two soups, and one's vegetarian.
"Hal haatha buhaaraat?" I want to know if it's spicy.
He literally can't even answer. He just stares at me, slowly shaking his head, which I take as a no.
It was the easiest order I ever placed in a restaurant. I knew every word I needed and never stumbled once, not even when I asked for change (and the word for change is "fucka," so that can be kinda difficult at times).
But I'm pretty sure I almost gave that dude a heart attack with my Arabic ninja skills.
Yay for Arabic Ninja skillz! This reminds me of the (many) times in Germany when people would hear my accent because I stink at the "r" and assume automatically that my German sucks. They'd then proceed to use very broken English to speak with me, while I respond in nearly perfect, fluent sounding German (save for my accent on the darn "r"). I always wanted to reply "glaub mir, mein Deutsch ist VIEL besser als dein Englisch. Es wird schneller/einfacher Deutsch zu benutzen." Danke Schoen.
ReplyDeleteSo how many languages you gonna master, girlie??
check the spelling: roles/rolls, heroin/heroine?
ReplyDeleteare you becoming more Arabic?
Katie: Probably six. Not really...but I am currently working on TWO. Yikes!
ReplyDeleteOnly Me: Heroine/heroin duly corrected. Apparently I don't buy enough heroin to know better. But roles/rolls is spelled wrong on the package, which is why it's hilarious.
Oh my goodness... I laughed so hard at this post; I totally can relate. Sometimes, however, they see I can speak a few words, then they assume I'm fluent and begin rattling off something in their impossible-to-understand dialect and I wanna be like "Slow down and speak the official dialect!" but instead I just say "Ting bu dong" (I don't understand) so they write it down for me.
ReplyDeleteThanks. If I can't speak, I certainly can't write!
wow. loved it!
ReplyDelete