The Complete Idiot's Guide to Ramadan

The grocery store near my house, all dressed up for Ramadan. All that was missing was piped-in music--which is pretty much forbidden right now.

My husband is an environmental engineer. More specifically, he is pursuing a job working on water systems for impoverished communities. After a year of living with him, sometimes I can talk the talk. I know what TOC is, and that high levels of that in your drinking water is bad. I know how expensive reverse osmosis is, and I know that about half of the stream water in America contains antibiotics (yes, you're drinking them). I can even draw you a picture of how microbial fuel cells work (although I'll probably confuse positive and negative charges).

But in reality, I'm just repeating what I've heard Husband talk about. In reality, I'm clueless.

In much the same way, I can talk to you here about Ramadan.

This is my second year of experiencing Ramadan in the Middle East. Ramadan, for the people who don't have the time to Wikipedia it, is a holy month for Muslims. It goes like this:

*During daylight hours, no eating, drinking (Psst! It's 105 degrees out!), smoking or sex.

*At sunset, you break fast in community by sharing a big meal.

*A lot of Muslims go to mosque more often during Ramadan, or make an effort to read a lot of the Quran. Some people even read it three times during the month. (The Quran is about the length of the New Testament, to give you a frame of reference.) Some of my friends are traveling to Mecca and Medinah this month, too.

*The end of Ramadan is marked with the biggest holiday (Eid) of the year, and the whole country shuts down for like two or three weeks to celebrate. Literally.

It's a Very Big Deal here. The scale of the holiday is somewhat like Christmas in the States--except that here, stores are less likely to have sales and more likely to shut down all day. Everywhere you go, there are banners wishing you "Ramadan Kareem," or "Bountiful Ramadan."


I don't care what culture you're from, holidays=candy, and lots of it.

A slightly lesser-known fact is that during Ramadan, a lot Muslims in this part of the world talk about one thing: television. Ramadan is essentially sweeps time in the Middle East. It's time for the soap opera stars to die, or get married, or have a baby, or whatever. A lot of people just sleep most of the day, spend their few hungry hours watching TV, then break fast and stay up all night.

I do not understand this in the least. When I ask, people tell me they fast Ramadan for these reasons:
1. Obedience to God

2. To learn sympathy for the less-fortunate in the world

3. To cleanse the body (in the sense that fasting can be good for your health)

4. To seek closeness to God

But it seems to me that spending all the month sleeping and watching TV is directly going to hinder a person from all these pursuits. One because I don't believe that God desires technically correct external behavior without an internal repentance and intention to seek Him. Two because the less-fortunate of the world do not distract themselves from hunger by watching soaps. Three because being a couch potato is terrible for your health. And four because I have yet to meet the person who had a divine encounter while sitting in front of the Tube.