How to get stuff done

Why is it so hard to do stuff? I swear, when I worked four part-time jobs and took 18 credit hours and volunteered, somehow there were more red check marks on to-do lists and feelings of accomplishment that followed. Now that my whole day stretches out blankly in front of me, somehow the temptation to watch the Food Network for hours on end is way stronger than it ever was before. Maybe I thrive on the pressure and the deadlines. Which is why I've needed to learn to motivate myself, which is a lot harder said than done. But after a year of this, I've finally got a few tricks in my bag.

1. Write out a schedule. Especially procrastinators like me. If I don't plan when I'll work out or write, I'll inevitably push that stuff further and further back until suddenly--WHAT??? HOW IS IT MIDNIGHT?!?

2. Ask for help. You know those quiet, peaceful hours of the morning when nobody's up yet and it's just you, your coffee and the sunrise? Yeah, I hate those hours. However, I get more stuff done if I get up earlier. Knowing how hard this is for me, I've recruited Husband to cajole me by turning on the lights and promising me coffee. I ask friends to meet me at the gym or go to a coffee shop to study Arabic. Nothing wrong with accountability.

3. Make attainable to-do lists. I am queen of mile-long to-do lists. Like, I'll write "Plan Thanksgiving dinner" in early October. Really? Do I need to worry about that now? It's slightly more useful and a lot less discouraging when I only let five things onto the to-do list, which means I might actually accomplish some of them instead of feeling so overwhelmed that I never even get started.

4. Unplug the Internet. I think I have cyber-OCD. Like, if I'm online, I somehow feel the need to check my e-mail every five minutes and then read all the updates on Facebook. Whenever I get stuck on a project, my cursor just automatically drifts toward Firefox before I even know what I'm doing! And every time I do that, I lose like 15 minutes of work time because it takes that long to transition in and out of an activity like Working on my Book. Unless working actually requires me to be online, it is stupid not to unplug.

5. Multi-task like mad. Favorites: Memorizing Arabic verbs on the treadmill. Cleaning house while talking on the phone. Planning plot points as I pick up groceries.

6. Take a whole day off, every week. Which is great, because then I can plan to spend four hours re-reading the seventh Harry Potter book without feeling guilty about it.

Watch out your abaya!

I shopped for 12 hours in the big city yesterday. And I've managed to boil the entire experience down to six awesome photographs.

Taken near an escalator:

The translation was clearly done by Google Translate, which doesn't believe in prepositions.

Taken at a restaurant with separate lines for women and men. The sign in the upper left-hand corner reads "LADIES."

I'm slightly confused about the point of side-by-side separate lines for men and women in a fast-food joint, but these dudes seem to be just confused, period.

Taken at a restaurant called "Thai Thai":

Um, cutest teapot/tea cups EVER.

Taken at a Toys 'R Us:

That's the wall of Hannah Montana dolls. Apparently, her cult following is just as enormous in a country where religions other than Islam are prohibited.

Taken at a supermarket called "Hyper Panda" (uh, best name for a supermarket, ever):

Spring Roles. Maybe inside the package you'll find theater bills?

Also taken at Hyper Panda:

That would be Pillsbury dough boy products, labeled "Organic Food."

Six Rules for Behaving in Public

You already know the obvious ones, right? Like try not to wear a mini-skirt or take swigs from a paper bag?

There are two options for being an expat in the Middle East. You can try to blend in to the culture (an impossible goal if you're blond), or not. I opt for the former, which means I spend a lot of time observing and asking questions and noticing when people look at me funny. Here are the six rules for public behavior I've picked up over the last couple years:

1. Always take the time to greet everyone you've ever met on the street. Even if you're on your way to work and you're running late and you've only ever met that person one time at a party and you don't remember their name. Say hello, shake hands and kiss, and ask how they and their family are. Otherwise, you are just asking for them to complain to mutual friends about your rudeness. I know, because I have been that mutual friend before. I spend a lot of time trying to explain American behavior.

2. Don't eat or drink in public during Ramadan. I don't care if you're not fasting. It's illegal.


I don't care if it is 105 degrees; leave that "Akwaafeenaa" at home.

3. Girls, make all reasonable efforts to hide the fact that you have hips. Actually, this is your exception to the no-mini-skirts rule. I've seen local girls wearing them over their jeans. Also mini-dresses or super-long shirts. I love that toga-style shirts came into fashion right before I moved over here.

4. Don't leave the house with your hair still wet from a shower. It is somehow an indicator/advertisement that you just had sex. Which doesn't make sense to me, because humidity's at 60 percent, which means everyone needs to shower twice a day...whatever.

5. Don't offer your hand to someone of the opposite sex. A lot of Muslims won't shake it. I thought this one was more well-known, but I see Americans have the awkward "Um, sorry, but I don't touch women" conversation all the time. My rule of thumb is to give guys the nod and wait to see if they extend their hand. If they don't, you get to do my favorite greeting ever: the right-hand-over-your-heart salute. Like, "My heart is touched to meet you...don't touch me."

6. Don't put your arm around your significant other. I've noticed that in a lot of places, hand-holding is okay (uh, well, if the person is your spouse). But putting your arm around their waist? You might as well make out on a park bench.

Did I miss any?

Six Things to Stock Up On Before Moving to the Middle East

The thing about moving overseas is: You never really know what you'll miss until you get over there. This time around, I've wised up. I'm bringing:

1. Neutrogena's benzoyl peroxide face cleanser/mask (or whatever): Because you will probably not find your exact product--the one that took you six years to find and fall in love with--over there. If you need benzoyl peroxide the way boy bands need teenaged girl fans, you better bring a few tubes with you.

2. All-natural peanut butter: In Saudi, people prefer processed products (I can envision that phrase slapped on a billboard downtown--probably with a picture of a turbaned man happily pumping hydrogenated vegetable oils into Skippy jars.) One of our suitcases currently holds about 8 pounds of the natural stuff. That's right: I've devoted 8 percent of our weight allowance to mashed peanuts.

3. Condoms: Let's just say: If you want condoms in the Middle East, you will need a prescription. And then you will only receive six at a time. And those six will be banana-flavored.

4. Deodorant: Because it is dang expensive there, leading me to believe most people still rely primarily on cologne, not Secret. I refuse to "go local" in this regard.

5. Journals: Yes, of course you can buy them over there, but they open (dur) from right to left. For some reason, I find my creative processes hindered if I feel backward before I begin.

6. Women's workout clothing: Finding breathable women's pants and a good sports bra in the Middle East is, in my experience, about as easy as finding pork in Saudi Arabia. You have three options: Wear jeans, buy men's workout clothes, or bring a bunch with you. I've done two out of three.