News flash

News Alerts: 6 New Results for Beth

Arabic skills recovered in risky search-and-rescue attempt
Authorities have recovered Beth's Arabic skills this week, which miraculously survived after they went missing four months ago. Sources report the second language disappeared in May, when Beth boarded a plane for the United States and encountered a whole slew of people who didn't know what the word "insha'allah" meant. Still, hope remained throughout the summer that Arabic would someday return, as the missing-in-action language gave hints of being alive: Beth mysteriously thanked waitresses with "shukraan" and accidentally commanded children to "yallah." Then today, the Arabic skills reappeared, very much alive and seeming to have suffered no ill effects from four months of captivity. The joyous reunion was followed by a one-hour discussion about education almost entirely without English.

Two people--two!--dream Beth is pregnant; superstitious fears follow
In a somewhat disturbing chain of events, Beth and her close friend both dreamed Beth was pregnant last night, leading to nervous speculations about the state of Beth's womb. Beth entertained thoughts of the power of female intuition; and of how her mother once dreamed a friend was pregnant and then it later turned out that the friend was pregnant, and her mother knew about it first even though they weren't even living in the same state and hadn't even talked in months, and what if this is the same thing? Other female friends were less-than-reassuring about the state of Beth's uterus, claiming they'd actually been thinking about her being pregnant this very week.
If her mother also has had a dream lately about Beth being with child, Beth will probably go ahead and take a pregnancy test.

A whole year after buying her Mac, Beth finally figures out how to scroll
Today, Beth finally figured out how to do a two-finger scroll on her Mac, and the late-blooming skill launched a whole new set of insecurities about how she'll never be as cool as all those artsy, hip-ly dressed, tech-savvy people featured on Mac commercials.
Meanwhile, nagging thoughts that she'll never really figure out Twitter persist.

Beth declares self unfit to mother a cat, much less a child
For the second week in a row, Beth forgot to take her cat to the vet this week, claiming she got "caught up" in her Arabic studies. Since the vet visits her compound only once a week, the unfortunate feline will have to wait even longer before he can get a cream or something for that funky fungus on his leg. Beth lamented her poor mothering skills to Husband, bemoaning her absent-mindedness and asking what kind of mother she'll be. Husband meanwhile hoped this outburst of emotion was PMS, and not a sign of the aforementioned pregnancy.

Refrigerator contains only mustard, capers, lettuce
In preparation for their upcoming trip to Turkey, Beth and Husband stopped buying regular food and intend to attempt survival on a sparse diet of condiments. Beth has subsisted mostly on hard-boiled eggs, mustard and chocolate milk, while Marc has eaten an absurd amount of canned chickpeas. Friends' comments about how hard-boiled eggs with mustard sound like a pregnancy food were not appreciated.

House cleaned in anticipation of cat-sitter's arrival
Beth and Husband spent time cleaning toilets and sweeping for dust-bunnies to prepare for the cat-sitter's arrival this week, in spite of the fact that the cat-sitter is probably the least clean person they know. Still, Beth faced uncertainty about what he would think if he discovered six books, 11 note cards, four Bobbi pins, four pieces of trash, three pens, a pencil, a photograph, a pair of nail clippers, a couple of old to-do lists, a journal, an iPod connector thingy, some chap stick, and her cell phone on her bedside table. Shortly thereafter, she swept all of it into the bedside table's top drawer and called it good.

Couple unclear how it's time for trip to Istanbul, already
Citing a lack of seasonal changes in Saudi Arabia and the fact that "time flies," Beth and Husband both expressed undue shock that their impending trip to Turkey was, in fact, in like three days.
"Holy crap, how is it October?" Beth remarked, nearly a week into the month.
Husband gallantly took it upon himself to write out all the directions to everywhere and check multifarious travel web sites, while Beth borrowed a book called "Istanbul" from a friend and vowed to read it on the plane. She also alerted blog readers that she'd be gone for a week, but she'd reward their faithfulness later with pictures from Istanbul.